Do we do anything or everything just happens because it has to?

Random Thoughts which bring me closer to Spirituality or Mostly questioning the meaning of Life-

Sometimes i think i am doing eveything, and eveything is in my control,

Then suddenly i realise even breath is not in my control,

Then i think , no but i do strive for things, thats why i achieve them-

But then i think what if i was not able to strive ? What if i was born incapable of that strive ?

But yeah still the no-one can take away the mental strive or effort from anyone i think-

But what if the thoughts themselves depend on the environment, and not in our control?

But come-on, thoughts we can freely think right, for the betterment of ourselves we can always strive..

Then i think of Bipolar, Austism and other diseases,

And then i think , maybe nothing is in my control, or wait.... is it me really thinking ?